Scout's Honor...

Boys will be Boys

When the Boy Scouts of America released a statement that they will continue their policy to deny access to homosexual boys, to no surprise, their continued stance angered millions who are sick and tired of dealing with intolerance towards the gay community.  It upset me as well because it’s disheartening to live in a country where we can still be so cruel to our own.  While I will never agree with discrimination against anyone based on their sexual orientation, after some thought, I now wonder if the people who run the Boy Scouts have a point.

At the house that I grew up in, I didn’t have a lock on my bedroom door.  In fact I was about 16 years old before I was even allowed to close my door (if it wasn’t bedtime).  I was out of college before the coast was clear to have a girl in my room.  My mom was essentially “blocking” but she had to because she was being a parent.  Even if I had a plutonic friend, it was inappropriate for her and I to be in a bedroom behind a closed door.  That got me thinking, if I were gay, how would that have played out in my home?  Would my male friends still have been able to come over and play video games in my room?  Have sleepover parties?  Could I only go over to my female friends’ homes because the attraction wasn’t there?  I don’t have the answers but I would be naive if I didn’t think that sexual orientation – even at a young age – wouldn’t complicate things.  It’s this hesitation that brings me back to the Boy Scouts.

There is a reason why there are “Boy” Scouts and there are “Girl” Scouts.  Oftentimes these groups go on camping trips and other outings where the members share tents and cabins.  Also, they are in very close quarters with their adult counselors.  Now just imagine if things were co-ed and your little daughter was sleeping 3 feet away from a hormonal boy, or you knew that a 35-year-old man was using the same set of showers?  My assumption is that you would find a different program for your child.  So what is the difference between having your son share a tent with a girl who likes him or another boy that likes him?  Nothing may happen but the former, but due to the separate organizations, they probably wouldn’t see each other naked.  If you are a representative of the Boy Scouts, are you willing to take that risk?  What if something does happen, and you are now liable, what do you do?

Does this mean that openly gay boys have to join the Girl Scouts and vice versa with lesbians?  Once again, I don’t have the answer but what I do know is that its time that we have a real discussion about how sexuality and sexual orientation is handled at the youth level.  Being gay is not a choice and its not a phase so its time that we enter the 21^st century and learn how to integrate everyone in all aspects of life.  This may mean that we might have to redefine certain institutions and certain tenants of interpersonal interactions.  All voices need to be included in this conversation and we shouldn’t stop talking until we have answers.   Then perhaps we can make sure that all boys learn to tie a bowline knot, make s’mores and maybe I’ll figure out my own “closed door” policy when I’m a parent.