Ready... Set... Hut, hut, hut

Poison.

It’s only been one game, but there’s already a quarterback controversy in Philly.  When starter, Kevin Kolb, went down with a concussion, a familiar face replaced him under center.  Michael Vick proceeded to turn back the clock and made plays on the field that can only be explained in a game of Madden.  The Eagles ended up losing but it was clear that Vick outplayed Kolb and made a case that he should be the starter.  I’m not buying it.  Vick is the most overhyped quarterback in the past decade and his fans just can’t see through the smoke and mirrors.  But I understand why it’s so hard for them to admit it.

Michael Vick is a hot chick with a horrible personality.

Not just any hot chick – the type of chick that is clearly out of your league and it’s surprising that she even talked to you.  You crack a huge smile when she’s on your arm because you know you are the envy of every guy in that room.  Secretly though, you can’t stand her.  She doesn’t work and always asks for money to go shopping.  She’s can’t hold a decent conversation and complains about everything.  But you can’t leave.  You keep making excuses for her horrible behavior and give her second chances.  Every time you are ready to let go, she gives you a wink and a smile and you crumble because you feel that you’ll never get a chick that hot again.

Michael Vick can do things on the field that no quarterback can do.  He took the league by storm in 2001 and people thought that he would redefine the position.  The truth is, Vick is an average quarterback at best.  If you check his passing statistics, which is what a quarterback is supposed to do, he has been in the bottom half of the NFL.  But just when you are ready to admit that you can’t win with him, he breaks 3 tackles and takes off for a touchdown.  Passing flaws aside, Vick has also proven that he is incapable of good judgment (i.e. dog fighting vs. not dog fighting).  So here we are again.  Just as everyone was prepared to accept Vick as a backup quarterback, he gives you wink and a smile and people start believing in the possibilities of a Superbowl.

Michael Vick isn’t going to lead a team to a championship any more than that hot chick is going to start reading and pulling her own weight around the house. You can trick yourself into believing that a 100-yard rushing game actually means something but the proof is in the pudding, Michael Vick isn’t an elite quarterback.  So as my fellow Philadelphians collectively drool, I’ll stand on my soapbox with my best Bell Biv Devoe impression and belt out…

That girl is Poison.