You know you're thinking about it.

Let’s Talk About It

Inadequate sex is a deal breaker.

Given that fact, you have two types of people – people who get it and have no complaints and people that don’t and wonder why they're alone or keep getting cheated on.  People love to trivialize sex and make others feel “shallow” when they discuss it.  Not only does every person think about it every day, but sex is a billion dollar industry.  Bottom line, it’s a big deal and its time for you to take it more seriously.

Yeah I know, love is important.  But bad sex in a loving relationship is like a leaky faucet.  In the beginning you’ll notice it but it won’t bother you at all.  But one day, that leak will get worse, your water bill will skyrocket and you’re going to have to call a plumber (pun intended).  So before you end up on the bad end of a phone call or simply, come home too early one day, lets fix that leak.

First off, no matter how good you think you are, there’s always someone out there that either does what you won’t or does what you do better.  So you should always be looking for ways to improve and mix things ups.  Monotony and complacency is the death of all sexual relationships.  No matter how much time has passed, there is always something new and different to try.  But this is the easy part.

The hard part is communication.  We’ll talk to our partner about everything but when it comes to sex, it’s hard to break the silence.  Sex puts us in a unique state of vulnerability and we fear that saying the wrong thing can make him or her feel insecure.  That’s a difficult obstacle to overcome.  I'm not even sure what the solution is.  But if you can’t get that conversation started, there’s other ways to find out how to please your partner better.

Ladies, the easiest way to find out something your man likes is to pay attention to his, [ahem] movie collection.  Seriously.  Most of you write this off as some adolescent activity when in fact it should be viewed as an opportunity to learn.  If your man fantasizes about something he sees on TV, it’s because he wants to experience it in real life.  It’s that simple.  Acting out a scene from one of his movies would definitely be a welcomed surprise.

Fellas, although your answer isn’t in the DVD player, it is in other women (No, not that way).  Having a conversation with other women is a great way to find out what your woman likes.  Close friends or a cousin can be a great resource for tips and they can be honest and upfront with you.  It’s like getting a sneak peak at the other team’s playbook.  If you don’t have any one to talk to, pick up a magazine.  Seriously.  You will learn something.  Take your newfound info and apply it.

Sometimes the best way to communicate about sex is physically.  Spontaneously trying something new will add a needed spark.  You will also realize that your partner’s is open to some things you never thought of.  I’ll be the first to admit that this post is common sense but we all know that sex is very good at destroying common sense.  So if this post isn’t news to you then let it act as a reminder - a reminder that if you don’t handle your business, someone will always be there to take your place.

Always.