And even as a crack fiend, mama...

Sins of the Mother

You know that feeling you get when you drop a bowl in the kitchen?  That instant shock and anxiety as you imagine the bowl shattering on the floor in a million pieces.  How quickly does that feeling disappear when you realize that it didn’t break and all you are left with is a loud noise?  That’s how the death of Whitney Houston hit me.

When I heard the news, my instant reaction was as if I too lost someone, but in the time that it would have taken that bowl to drop, I was over it.  I felt no loss, no sadness – just a loud noise and it was all over.  When Michael Jackson died, I understood the outcry especially when we learned that his death was the cause of medical malpractice.  He was a victim.  Whitney, on the other hand, was a cautionary tale.  She died because of the horrible choices that she made.

I know this sounds harsh but throughout all of the tributes and iTunes records, everyone is missing the only sad part of this story.  Bobbi Kristina.  All of those years of alcohol and drugs left an 18-year-old girl without a mother.  Whitney Houston had the money and resources to have whatever life she wanted and yet she chose to party hard and abuse drugs.  This isn’t a case of too much fortune and fame too soon – Whitney was nearly a 50 year old woman dating Ray J and out until all hours of the night.  What message did she think she was sending to her daughter?

The difficulty of battling addiction is not lost on me; it requires an incredible amount of commitment, sacrifice and dedication.  Sadly, Whitney Houston showed no signs of those traits.  When she married Bobby Brown, we all assumed that it was he who tarnished the “good girl” but once the reality TV show aired, it was clear that the Whitney we all knew was just a façade.  Making a mockery of her family (not to mention that Diane Sawyer interview) and staying in the press for all the wrong reasons did nothing more than embarrass a little girl that never asked for any of this.

It was reported that Whitney Houston was seen drinking heavily in the days before she was found dead in her bathtub.  This is not the behavior of a woman that had her priorities straight.  I feel terrible for Bobbi Kristina because I know she would trade in the big house and money for a good mom.  I disagree with Governor Christie’s decision to lower the flag at half-mast.  That honor should be saved for heroes who lived noble lives, not for uber-talented singers that take their good fortunes for granted.

So with allegations that Bobbi Kristina is also fighting addiction and has been hospitalized twice since her mother’s death, I can only hope that history doesn’t repeat itself.